With apologies to Robert Burns, here is my take on the reply to Toasting the Lassies for Burn’s Night 2020.
The Lassies’ Reply
Thank you sir for toasting the ladies We’re all in heaven, far from hades We know the tunes, the sins, the wages And so do you Side by side we turn the pages You know this too Though your fate is to do our bidding We know its trust and not just kidding That keeps us oft from just admitting Of what you can do We ponder standing and just sitting Oh what thoughts ensue If you wonder why we love you Know our dreams are sometimes of you Though nightmares might be closer truth And what we see In holey pants and scuffed up shoe Is mystery! They say a man’s more with a wifey Not sure it’s true when times get dicey For winds blow cold and long and icey Oft it’s endless So forgive weather that’s unkindly Try a caress If we get cross when you digress Or switch the channel sans redress Or leave the bathroom in a mess Please, just don’t We’d rather have your tenderness Than spit “I won’t” For men who touch us slow or fleetly Who we do serve, just oh so meekly You know we see you And you care for us, oft thrice weekly You know what to do. This short poem is too soonly ending On your patience it’s been depending But time for you, is not mere lending It’s for always Though only if the knee’s sharp bending For all the days. Beware our passion and our scorn Remember us lest you should mourn Hope and faith are with us reborn For lust and love Needs you strong, bold, and not forlorn Our hand, your glove.